What is it about fashion that makes me feel powerful?

I remember the feeling when I first watched The Devil wears Prada. At that time I thought it was the absolute authority that Meryl Streep exuded, but I don’t think it was just that. 

I am currently watching a show called The Bold Type - again a fashion magazine for women, and most of the characters are women. The boss lady in this could not be more different than Meryl Streep’s character. But I still get the same feeling from this show as I did from the movie. 

I have been wondering what it is about the movie and the show that makes me feel powerful, sexy, energetic and makes me crave that life?

The most obvious answer that comes to my mind is ‘aspirations’. 

In the world of fashion, as shown on screen, most of the women are fit and healthy. They wear the most interesting clothes, carry gorgeous bags, accessorise with the ultimate panache and their shoes are to die for. All these are things I would love. 

But I know its not just this because if it was, a fashion magazine would also give me a similar feeling and they don’t, in fact, they leave me quite flat. 

As I continue to watch the show, I realise that a lot of this aspiration has to do with women in the work place. Up and coming hard working women, already made it to the top successful women, bold adventurous risk taking women - this is what charges me up.

I love that they are independent in thought and deed, not afraid to speak up for they believe in, yet have their own vulnerabilities. They work hard, party hard, love fiercely and give their all for the sisterhood all while having what seems like boundless energy. 

Makes me proud to be a woman and makes me aspire to find or create a lifestyle like this for myself. And in the meantime I live vicariously through shows and movies. 

Why do I second guess myself so much?

I was never a spontaneous writer (much as I would love to be). 

From the time I started blogging, I would write and then edit, maybe rewrite or restructure parts of it and then just post it. I look back at my blogs today and am still very happy with them. Just tells me I was doing something right at that time. 

Of course, on occasion I have spoken to someone when I wasn’t sure of direction or specific content but that was a rare thing. The same went for work emails, I never had cause to wonder if I was communicating the right thing. 

In recent times, I find myself second guessing my creative process a lot - whether it is writing, graphics, even photography. 

I started a new blog a couple of days ago but couldn’t finish it. Fortunately I could get it done today and just as I was about to post it, I sent it to some friends instead asking their opinion. 

While creating a graphic this morning, I asked the option of three people through the process of making it. 

This is so weird. I really wondering why I have started doing this? 

I know its not lack of confidence - since I actually like the way I write and the aesthetics I present in my digital work. It’s not like I have a lot riding on the stuff I am doing, because I am doing them for myself. 

Neither is it because I am writing after a long time. Creating content and managing four different Instagram accounts has me writing more than I have in years and on varied subjects at that. 

When I break it down, there is no real reason to second guess myself. I think this is just me looking for a little extra validation from people other than myself. Silly as that sounds. 

While validation is always very nice and welcome, it is not my driving force. Here’s to being more spontaneous and free. And to prove that, I am posting this immediately. 

PS: It so nice to be blogging again. 

PPS: I did go back and edit this slightly, once I re-read it. Oh well!