Me! I remember dreaming as far back as my memory goes. Mum and dad used to tell about their lives and I would imagine.. Then I would learn something in school and add that into my fantasy. Conversations with friends, plots in books, stories in moves all had the same effect.
I would build an image in my head, add in surroundings and circumstances and voila, I had a dream. Some may call this fantasizing and they are probably right. But so often these concoctions of mine have actually turned into aspirations.
This didn’t end in childhood (though I know a large number of unfortunate people who let it end). I still do this. But now the places I take inspirations from are more varied and complex.
It’s like this… I can see myself in a different place (someplace I have probably only read about). Sitting with someone who is at the forefront of my thoughts, the conversations all about things I wish I could tell him. All this leads to a situation that I desire. The clothes, the music and other peripheral occurrences just fall into place. And this is just the beginning. The fantasy evolves on it’s on from here onwards.
If I try and imagine the same scenario a few months later, it won’t be the same. It changes each time.
Chances are nothing of this will ever come true. Honestly I don’t think I would want it to. But in the midst of the ‘never never land’, I find answers to real questions. Goals get realigned, plans get modified and life moves onto a marginally different path.
Is this a colossal waste of time? I don’t know! It works for me! It also largely contributes to my state of ‘unbelonging’.
This may sound selfish, but I believe the only dreams that make sense are the ones that are self created; personal issues and personal desires. It can’t depend on anyone else. It can’t even come from someone else.
Why? Because this someone else will probably show you a lifetime in a few moments. Promises and dreams will be built into these moments. If you take them to heart, they will start to look real, plausible even. But what you don’t realize is that this reality you are holding so close is actually that person’s fantasy for the moment, nothing else. It will pass in a blink of an eyelid and you will be left holding a whisper.
Eventually we are all dispensable in other people’s dreams. You can’t build your own dream on a whisper. If this happens, then it’s time to stop dreaming!
