The rules of interaction and conversation have changed

Man is a social being and from the beginning of time has always been a part of a social forum. 

What started as a family unit grew to include multiple families. Some nomads became settlers, villages and then towns were founded and so on. As communities grew, small groups were created based on commonalities of age, interest, activity, profession, etc.

From the time of cave paintings to the instant messaging and social media we use today, communication has been a vital part of this growth and as it evolved, so has the very nature of social forums. 

Information, discussions, opinions; it has never been easier to share than it is today. But along with these new levels of openness and transparency, something inherent has changed as well. The fine lines of appropriate conversation, the un-written rules of decorum, the respect for space and privacy; all of it is different now. 

Marketing messages, political fanaticism, spreading rumours, sharing other people’s private information; the list goes on. Everything seems to have become fair game to some. Add to this, they take offence if you point it out or will blatantly ignore the unwritten rules, even after being reminded of them. 

All my life I have been taught and have followed a basic principle of appropriate content and/or conversation, depending on the medium; I still do! Images, conversations, forwards - they have to make sense to the person/s you are sharing it with. You can’t be all willy nilly about it. 

Would you share painting techniques on a Biology forum? I think not!

When you are part of multiple social forums, it is by and large very clear what each one represents. Whether specified or not, there are always some rules to follow. If unsure, ask; if you upset people, stop. There will always be different opinions within a community, but you can’t forget basic manners and good behaviour. Respect the forum and your fellow members. 

What is it about fashion that makes me feel powerful?

I remember the feeling when I first watched The Devil wears Prada. At that time I thought it was the absolute authority that Meryl Streep exuded, but I don’t think it was just that. 

I am currently watching a show called The Bold Type - again a fashion magazine for women, and most of the characters are women. The boss lady in this could not be more different than Meryl Streep’s character. But I still get the same feeling from this show as I did from the movie. 

I have been wondering what it is about the movie and the show that makes me feel powerful, sexy, energetic and makes me crave that life?

The most obvious answer that comes to my mind is ‘aspirations’. 

In the world of fashion, as shown on screen, most of the women are fit and healthy. They wear the most interesting clothes, carry gorgeous bags, accessorise with the ultimate panache and their shoes are to die for. All these are things I would love. 

But I know its not just this because if it was, a fashion magazine would also give me a similar feeling and they don’t, in fact, they leave me quite flat. 

As I continue to watch the show, I realise that a lot of this aspiration has to do with women in the work place. Up and coming hard working women, already made it to the top successful women, bold adventurous risk taking women - this is what charges me up.

I love that they are independent in thought and deed, not afraid to speak up for they believe in, yet have their own vulnerabilities. They work hard, party hard, love fiercely and give their all for the sisterhood all while having what seems like boundless energy. 

Makes me proud to be a woman and makes me aspire to find or create a lifestyle like this for myself. And in the meantime I live vicariously through shows and movies. 

Why do I second guess myself so much?

I was never a spontaneous writer (much as I would love to be). 

From the time I started blogging, I would write and then edit, maybe rewrite or restructure parts of it and then just post it. I look back at my blogs today and am still very happy with them. Just tells me I was doing something right at that time. 

Of course, on occasion I have spoken to someone when I wasn’t sure of direction or specific content but that was a rare thing. The same went for work emails, I never had cause to wonder if I was communicating the right thing. 

In recent times, I find myself second guessing my creative process a lot - whether it is writing, graphics, even photography. 

I started a new blog a couple of days ago but couldn’t finish it. Fortunately I could get it done today and just as I was about to post it, I sent it to some friends instead asking their opinion. 

While creating a graphic this morning, I asked the option of three people through the process of making it. 

This is so weird. I really wondering why I have started doing this? 

I know its not lack of confidence - since I actually like the way I write and the aesthetics I present in my digital work. It’s not like I have a lot riding on the stuff I am doing, because I am doing them for myself. 

Neither is it because I am writing after a long time. Creating content and managing four different Instagram accounts has me writing more than I have in years and on varied subjects at that. 

When I break it down, there is no real reason to second guess myself. I think this is just me looking for a little extra validation from people other than myself. Silly as that sounds. 

While validation is always very nice and welcome, it is not my driving force. Here’s to being more spontaneous and free. And to prove that, I am posting this immediately. 

PS: It so nice to be blogging again. 

PPS: I did go back and edit this slightly, once I re-read it. Oh well!

I wonder..

 

i wonder.. if i will write again

i wonder.. if i will ever know what i want in my heart

i wonder.. if i will ever stop loving 

i wonder.. if i will ever walk in fields of gold

i wonder.. if the magic is still out there

i wonder.. if some dreams will ever come true

i wonder.. if i will ever be who i thought i was

i wonder.. if my heart will ever skip a beat again

I hear the call of the Ibis

I hear the call of the Ibis

I look up to see their silhouettes

Passing across overcast skies

The air is thick with moisture

It creates a cocoon of silence

A weight that isn’t heavy

Invisible rain drops fall

A symphony for bird song

Pulling forth earth’s fragrance

Green surrounds me

Clean and fresh

Soothing my eyes, my heart, my soul

It is early morning

A fleeting moment in time 

Can I hold it for a little longer?

Where Your Focus Goes

We all hear phrases, quotes and the like all the time; but every now and then one will stick itself in your head and will change something about you. It kind of becomes a driving force, a talisman almost.

This happened to me again a couple of days ago when I heard a song called Energy (by a band called Disclosure) - the main sentence in the song goes like this “WHERE YOUR FOCUS GOES, YOUR ENERGY FLOWS". I heard this while I was walking (naturally) and my gosh, it made sense to me..

I’ve always maintained that your focus should be on doing what you are doing - mindfully and completely. Yes, of course you must have an ultimate goal that you want to achieve, but it is very important to understand this is not an end point. The entire process, the experiences, the learning, the disappointments, and the achievements are all as important. If you chase the wrong thing, it just becomes that much harder to get where you want.

In my context, I have a desired weight I would like to reach, but if that is my sole focus, then I am going to be disappointed and ineffective in my process to get there. Instead, I choose to focus on strength, endurance, fitness, inches and eventually weight. I focus on making myself feel good and proud. And I never forget to applaud my achievements along the way.

Here's to a 550 day streak of working hard

Interlude

 

In my mind I see the ocean below me and the sky above.

The ocean feels like memories and days past. The calm seas of good times and the occasional stormy ones. They wash over me periodically, embrace me, then recede back to their own ever moving cycle. Leaving me a little changed each time.

The sky is filled with infinite possibilities, of endless dreams and a future unseen. It’s a clean slate of new ideas, of novel experiences and forever chances. It shows me how much more there can be if I just step into it. 

At the edge of these two beautiful worlds, lies a horizon, that is there and yet isn’t. As if it is made up of both the ocean & the sky and yet it is an entity of its own. 

I realise, this is me. I live in moments between nostalgia and fantasy. My life is but an interlude!

Gratitude

When the light is soft and a fragrant flower blooms,

When the breeze is gentle and the birds are singing,

When humans are silent.

Close your eyes. 

Reach out with your soul.

Take it all in and then give it back. 

Heal with every breath,

Absorb the peace,

And open your eyes with Gratitude!

Sigh..

The sun has vanished and the light is soft. A gentle breeze has picked up bringing the scent of wet earth with it. 

It isn’t raining yet but the promise of it fills the atmosphere. 

It makes me pause what I’m doing to look out of the window and take it all in, to experience it with all my senses! 

And just like that a sigh escapes my throat.. 

What Next!

Today someone spoke to me about achievement. Having reached a personal milestone in his life, the ‘what next’ is playing on his mind. I know exactly what he is talking about because years ago, I was in the same place he is today. This got me thinking about how I did it and how today I apply the same principles to my walking / health journey. 

Like all addictions, the push to give up something that is bad for you, comes from within. It is a belief that by making this change, life will be better - that’s what makes you want to do it and that’s what keeps you going. 

Don’t let what you did in the past or any stereotypes define you. Look at yourself in the mirror and be honest - no one knows what you need better than you. You are your best coach! Listen to yourself, trust yourself and be true to yourself. 

And as importantly, don’t compare yourself to anyone else. Each morning just try and do a little better than you did yesterday. Achievements and milestones are yours alone. So name them and crush them. For yourself. Be proud of yourself.